We live in a time where it’s so easy to get lost in what others are doing. You open TikTok or Instagram, and within seconds, you see someone traveling, someone with the perfect body, someone who just bought the bag or car of your dreams. And without even noticing, you shift your focus away from yourself and onto them. But here’s the truth: the fastest way to kill your joy and slow down your growth is comparison. Instead, I invite you to become obsessed with yourself. Obsessed with already being the woman you once dreamed about. First, you create her in your mind, and when you focus on her every single day and take aligned action, you will see her come alive in your reality.
Jay Shetty | former monk, motivational speaker, and purpose coach
Neuroscience shows us that what you repeatedly focus on literally reshapes your brain through neuroplasticity. If your energy goes into observing others, your brain strengthens those pathways of comparison, frustration, and inadequacy. But if your focus goes into you – your habits, your wins, your growth – you are rewiring yourself for confidence, gratitude, and success.
Every time you praise yourself for even the smallest step, your brain gets a dopamine reward. And those little dopamine wins are what keep you consistent.
Comparison is also dangerous because most of the time, the life you’re comparing yourself to isn’t even the one you truly want. You don’t know the background, you don’t see the struggles, you only see the highlight reel. So why waste your precious time and energy on someone else’s story, when you could be building your own?
You don’t need to wait for the “end goal” – the Birkin bag, the G-Wagon, the dream apartment, the successful project to feel grateful. Yes, those are amazing milestones, but they are not the source of your happiness and confidence. Your true deep happiness and confidence comes from building the identity of the woman who deserves and attracts all of that. But if you keep your focus only on the end goal without gratitude for current progress (hidden comparison to others even when you don’t want to admit it to yourself), you will never have enough, there will always be others who have more, and you will find yourself constantly running after next goal with the inner sense of unfulfillment. Progress without gratitude feels like failure. I am not saying here that you shouldn’t want such material things – I enjoy them too. But the most important part is:
Ask yourself:
The example of high value woman who focuses on her highest self:
The moment you start living like her – today – you build a new identity. And this identity creates your results.
Even though I’ve been meditating for years, every single day I’m proud of myself: Wow, I did meditation again today.
Even in my 7th month of pregnancy, I’m still working out 5 times a week. I don’t take it for granted – I’m deeply grateful for my fit body and the energy it gives me.
And here’s something very important: I don’t fall into the trap of getting what I once dreamed about and then ignoring it. True gratitude means appreciating what’s already yours – not just for the first three days when it feels new, but every single day, even after it becomes a natural part of your life.
I remind myself daily about the things that used to be dreams and are now my reality. Whether it’s my fit body, my mindset, wellness, love, or my financial reality – I don’t let a single day pass without gratitude for it. This is why I live as my highest self every single day – not waiting for the next handbag, next trip, next watch, more success. I live my highest self today, being deeply grateful for everything that I already have, while at the same time being grateful for more that is coming – but not obsessing about it or waiting for it to happen. I consciously choose to be fulfilled, happy, successful and joyful – now.
The life you want doesn’t come by comparing your progress to other’s. It comes by becoming so devoted to yourself that you naturally elevate into the woman you dreamed of.
Stop asking, “Am I enough compared to her?”
Start asking, “Am I showing up as the highest version of me today?”
When you obsess over yourself, everything else – the success, the lifestyle, the abundance – becomes a natural consequence.
And don’t forget, this is your new identity – not for few weeks until next low period comes and you start comparing yourself to others again. This is who you are now – your highest self. In low periods you keep reminding yourself of your new identity, go into silence and deep breathing to recenter, get your head up, accept that low periods are part of the process – and you continue living your highest self authentically, without judgement, every day.
Keep rising, beautiful soul
